my little pony

here she is. one of my best friends (that should tell you something) barrier creep or maya as she is called in everyday-terms. the photos are theres' and does not belong to me but the horse does (half of it anyway, my sister gets her butt).

things that makes me forget

this is why i stay up at night studying. pray it all goes well.

time to write something

realized after reading the last few things i wrote that life has changed a lot. if it is for the better? yes and no. i still wish sometimes that things turned out different but i know i will get through this, i have to. studying takes all my time it seems like, over all it's a lot of fun but i wish i could talk to someone else than my therapist about feelings, life and thoughts. life is pretty dark at the moment even if it doesn't show on the outside. i'm trying to hide how i feel from the people close to me, spare them the misery of knowing what i really think and do. mom thinks that the eating disorder is under control now but she doesn't know, no one asks or cares so why should i worry about it? it feels good somehow to just write this and maybe someone will read it and then i have talked to someone other than my therapist.

It amazes me how little people really know about me. let me just say that my life is just a freaking theatrical act. there is nothing on the outside that reflects the inside.

wow that felt really good. we should do this again. thanks for listening.

/Em