Halloween

Halloween, get ready. My sister and I are gonna dress up and drink tonight whiles watching horror films. Great since I hate horror films. I wish I could hold someones hand...

Quote of the day

Gone like a dream that I have just awoken from, fading away just out of reach. And we are here but I already miss you even as you're lying next to me.

Paris!

Finally! The moment I've been waiting for. I'm off now!

Tomorrow

Random Fact: I'm so lucky

It's a girls thing I guess

Curiosity

So since I'm a fucking genius when it comes to technology I recently discovered that you can actually see how many people that visits your blog. Okay, how can it be that so many people read this shit? I am truly amazed, I'm clearly not the only one that lacks a life in this world. No no offence anyone.

Ghosts and witches

I really want Halloween today for some reason.

Trying to make poetry

When I'm in darkness cry, someone comes to me and whisper close to my ear:

"Love will never find you so you're doomed to die alone".

It was the future that scared me and the hopelessness that helped me to drown.

Quote of the day

Do or die

I'm so tired, I don't even know what I'm doing or what I want anymore. I just wanna go to sleep and never wake up. It's frustrating as hell when you can't sleep at night or stay awake during the day. I don't wanna do this anymore, whats wrong with me. Fuck it, now I'll just drown myself in paper work that has to be done by the end of the day.

Stop being sad and be awesome instead

Honour our friend Barney today by suiting up. He has always been there when you felt sad and pathetic. This is your time to give something back.

Quote of the day

A person who truly loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes

While everyone else believes in the smile on your face..

-Unknown

Oh come on, grow up!

Sometimes I feel like I have something to prove, that no one is really happy with what I'm doing or with what I want to do. I'm sure that everyone feels like this sometimes but to be honest with you I just want it to be over. I hate when people tell me to grow up and stop dreaming. Fuck you, I'm gonna continue until I wanna do something else. Maybe I should do what other people tell me to but for some pathetic reason I feel like that would be self-betrayal.

An other thing, why is it that I always try to be there for people but when I need some one there is hardly any one there? I guess it's a part of the "growing up" stuff again.

No, fuck this I'm gonna be grown up today and stop being teenage negative about things. I slept like 3 hours and I don't want to go back to sleep cause he's waking me up again and I can't deal with the past right now, the present is enough. Good god, what a lot of crap I've written... Please scratch it out and we'll never talk about it again.

My dreams could be better

The way we do it

In order to be memorable you've got to do something out of the ordinary.

Quote of the day

Real life should be like this

The reason

-I tried to find one reason, one reason to not give up.

-What did you find?

-No, I'm still in the fucking progress of looking for it.

Wednesday

Do you ever get an offer that you feel that you have to take even though it is not representing who you are? No, me neither. Two weeks ago I got a call and someone offered me a job, not only is it a way into a huge and successful industry (medicine) but I was a enormous wage increase. I went for an interview and his only "concern" was that I had applied to uni and he wanted the person to work full time but over all he was very impressed with my CV and my merits. Over 30 applicants and guess what? Yes, I got the job. Now, don't get too excited cause I turned it down. I told him that if I got into uni this spring I'm gonna go with that. Even though he was disappointed he said that he understood my decision and that if I ever wanted a job he was sure that he could find me something. Over all I made my decision based on what my heart is telling me to go with and no one can take that away form me.

Quote of the day

He is not the only guy in the universe, but he is the only one that matters.

Life is grey

I think that most people can agree with me on one thing: The best thing is to wake up early in the morning and be really tired, then, realize that you are off work today and go back to bed. Having this in mind, the worst thing is waking up early in the morning and not be sure if you are going to work or not and then come to realize that: Fuck.... I have to go to work. Am I the only one thinking that is the worst thing ever? Well the good thing is that I don't have work tomorrow I guess.

The Nightmare by Henry Fuseli.

Oil painting from 1781

The hot crazy scale

Quote of the day

11 workdays left

So now he's gone again, short visit but it felt satisfyingly long. Even though I know we'll see each other soon (two and a half week until Paris) I couldn't stop the tears as soon as I got back in the car. I tried to hide it form him but I'm quite sure that he detected it anyway, he know's me too well and by that he knows better that to comment on the fact that he knows that the second our hands let go I'm in tears. That's one of the reasons I love him. Can't wait to hear his voice again tonight.

I think he'll never understand how much I love him and I feel like I say "I love yo

u" too often already and that he one day is gonna respond with "yeah yeah". I hope he never finds me creepy in any way. I'm trying my best not to be.

I just want to lay here and dream about you